On Lists

I was planning to write about something else next, it was gonna be my list on what to bring to Mysore but I have not finished that one yet. I feel strongly about another topic now. One that I was made aware of was the talk of the town in the Ashtanga Community. Even though I was in Mysore since I have been mostly alone, I was not aware of this. My friend has asked me three days ago, did you read about what was posted, I checked my Instagram hoping to find some news there. When I couldn't find it I asked my friend what I was supposed to be looking for, she gave me the lowdown.

Mostly I feel sad about the community divide.

People like t make lists, grocery list, bucket lists, packing list, to do list, this list.. it goes on. We use lists to guide us but not to limit us. Take for example grocery lists. We put time and effort to make this list so that 1 we wouldn't forget what we need from the store 2 not to overbuy when we are on the store. But our normal tendencies are to forget the list at home and remember we left it once we are at the grocery store or buy something off the list. Because in the end, a list is just a list.

When I was newer to this method, I would check the list when I see names in my local yoga shala or if I'm travelling to somewhere else and wanted to see where I can practice. After travelling to the source, I noticed that the list is not all encompassing. Having the experience of going to Mysore and meeting these people on the list, made me realize, like me they are also people, they have more advance practices than me and more experienced but also they are having their own journeys. For me the list is a guide, I hope it does not divide, atleast I do not think it is meant to do that. What is very sad now is like, shit is being thrown all around. I really do not see any reason for this. Throwing around shit would also mean picking it up and mostly stinking up yourself with this shit. 

I practice because it makes me feel good, physically and mentally and it just makes me happy. I practice everyday because I feel the benefits of this practice. I went to the source because in me, there was a thirst of knowing, of understanding and I was hoping I can get it from there. I came to Mysore with the hope to discover or at least find out a bit more of myself with the help of this practice. I was curious what was out there and what it would mean to me, how it can benefit me. To me, it did not disappoint. It showed me and is still showing me a lot about this method, the other practitioners and mostly me.

It took me three years to get back to the source. Not because I didn't want to. I had excuses and I think I just was not ready at that time. Now I am here, I feel very lucky and I am very happy to be back. On my first year here of studying with Sharath, coming back home I couldn't say I have accepted him as my teacher, I came here to check it out. But to say at that time I am a student of Sharath was something I felt was premature. Now, I feel a bit more connection with him but slowly.

He is human and his job is not easy. The other day he made a comment of "who wants my job" jokingly but I think it has a slight meaning to it. Everyone seems to be on him lately. All eyes are on him. He teaches 300+ students right now, starting at 4 am to teach and 11 am to finish. He practices before that. He teaches in the afternoon. He has a family. A whole yoga community is on his back because of the list and because of plenty of other issues. We run our own programs and we are tired after 2 hours of teaching. Give the guy a break. Do we really want his job? 

I'm happy Sharath is there. From my small bit of experience. I see that he puts love in his job and dedication to this practice. He gives students like me the time and space to learn, a place to connect, a safe place to let go and process my journey, a place to find myself. 

We may have differences in opinions but let's not something like this break this community or this practice or method because we feel hurt. This practice has benefited us, let us not keep our personal egos and hurts and pains from blocking our views. This practice will and can help a lot of people. Us throwing dirt around each other is not really helping that. Let the list guide us, not control us. Shanti. <3